snorlaxatives:

it’s 2014 and there’s still guys tryna rock the 2009 justin bieber hairstyle please love yourself

me: what are taxes and how do I pay them?

school system: worry not

school system: mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell

botanybaes:

American Horror Story has fucked with this dudes head

(Source: panic-at-the-discount-store)

imsoshive:

me: what’s for dinner?

her: *spreads her legs*

me: 

image

so, did you not cook or ….. cause popeyes closes at 10 and i need to leave now if i’m gon make it. 

kingofcreppyisland:

Bae: Come over I’m horny ;)

Me: I can’t I’m murdering two teeange lovers in a clown suit

Bae: My parents are out

Me:

image

penis-hilton:

yungmoth92:

jrunk:

can ur child serve like this

oh my fucking god

me as hell